Finding LoVe! :) (:

Hello, 2014!!
It's been a while since I last wrote!So many transformation happened, so many things I've learned...
I started opening up after a break up with a boyfriend I had!
It made me get closer to myself, and really look at wrong things I was telling myself abut... ME! I was putting me down, and seeing me as much less that I trully am... Therefore... I attracted someone who would just reinforce this belief I had.
So much I learned in this process... But specially , I learned to love exactly who I am. I figured out that all have been hidding my true self for years, because somehow I learned bad labels about those traits.
I have always been a person who wanted to come from the heart, but I was TOTALLY SCARED about doing it. I easily sense when people are wearing a mask while communicating.It's not their fault.. Somehow we are taught that the most beautiful part of us which is giving and receiving love is... HARMFUL!. It might sound crazy, but yes, this crazy belief is out there all the time. There is this crazy idea that showing love is a synonym of weakness, and this is why people normally wear masks... Honestly, what I found o
ut is that we all are CRAZY about hugging someone, giving/receiving love, making connections, speaking from the heart and with the heart of others. BUT we cover this need of us, and even label it as something ridiculous, being "too needy", weakness... The people who behave as if they didn't care about it are those who are seen as strong. They are seen as positive. Then we buy the idea, and even convince ourselves that we are weaks if we show those kind of affection.
In practice, this is very wrong. Human connection can only exist where there is real feelings happening. Where there is comprehension, affection and the expressions of love there.
It is not silly: We are very capable of loving people - if we allow us to do it.
What happens when we don't accept this human vulnerability in us, and let our ego tell us that we should NEEEVER be in touch with it because this is weakness, is that we will attract a person that has the same buffer around their hearts.
Be them friends or valentines, or whatever... because our subconscious mind will search to what feels safe to it: so if it is not trained to be comfortable being vulnerable to LOVE, it will feel scared of opening up,and consider  to be "weird" those people who like doing it.
As long as we don't change this automatic belief, we might consciously think that we want to have a boyfriend, but unconsciously feel like being loved and loving is waaay to vulnerable and unsafe.
So... I am happy that my deep desire of loving and being loved was always right, and even more happy to know that those beliefs that were telling me that this deep desire was too scary... were just silly beliefs.

I wish from my heart that my ex can open up to himself and look close to what he needs to remove in order to be comfortable being vulnerable to love. I send him love and compassion. He really needs it, and to all the people in his situation - the one I also was before... A condition of blocking love, of hiding from it with every possible excuse ! A condition of thinking "Oh, I can not show my feelingS!" OR "Oh...Im happy alone. relationships will always fail"  or even "I am focused in my carreer.. there is no space for someone" or "I am ashamed of showing some parts of mine... until I have them solved, no one will ever love me." or "I am afraid of getting hurt"
Well... ever excuse is there when we don't trully believe love is possible. When two people change those beliefs, they are no longer driven by them and will just relax and smile to welcome this beautiful person that is meant to be their soulmate!